Letter to Anaya on her 11th birthday

 

Darling Daughter,

 

Happy 11^th Birthday! It’s hard to believe that you are a tween but I am really enjoying ‘the 11-year-old’ you. I love our ‘grown up’ conversations (with a dash of your innocence).  I can’t wait to share clothes, jewellery, makeup and more ‘Girl Wisdom’ with you. Gucci, I wish you could see yourself through our eyes and only then would you truly know how much we love you (Don’t roll your eyes, Missy. Parents are allowed to be as sappy as they want).

You were such an easy baby (or my memory is totally biased). Hardly threw any tantrum...never asked for toys...slept all night...always happy (well…most of the time!).  We hope your tween and teenage years will also be the same – without attitude and tantrums (though I do enjoy your childish tantrums sometimes). As a baby, you were always ahead of your milestones (Thank God for that or what would have your overthinking mother done?), and still, you are really mature than your age (My partiality is really shining through today). I just wish you retain ‘childlike innocence’ a little while longer (maybe forever 😊).

Every year, you give us more and more reasons to be proud of you🧿 . (Though baby, don’t ever think that you need to always overachieve to make us proud. We will always be proud of your efforts not your achievements.) We think out of all your accomplishments this year, announcement of your name by your principal in front of 3000 people on your win in ‘Oxford Big Read Competition’ takes the cake.  We haven’t felt prouder. You came 3^rd (out of 30!) in interschool quiz competition at Zyfest. That’s quite an achievement! My baby, comparing to last year, you have improved tremendously in your writing🧿 . You wrote quite a few screenplays this year, for the first time ever. They were awesome. Your poems are becoming so thought provoking and deep. Sometimes your such profound thinking even astonishes us.

Sweetheart, you are ‘selective lazy’ (Nani will say ‘like mother, like daughter’). You work so hard for the things you set your mind to otherwise we have to push you in doing things. We love your dedication (when it’s there!) but love, sometimes we have to work hard on things we don’t like as well.

Since last few months, you have developed keen interest in history and politics. That’s admirable. Don’t lose interest in them after a while. Continue reading and researching about world history (not just World War 2) and most importantly Indian history. You will learn many things (many life lessons too) and history is really fun as well (and you can flaunt your knowledge as much as you like, we would love to hear all of it).

Matilda (I love this name; can we keep it as you pet name now onwards? We can call you Matty or Tilly for short), there are two most important things in life. HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. They are often corelated. Staying happy keeps you healthy and being healthy keeps you happy. Don’t let small matters ruin your day. 'You can sulk in the rain, dance in the rain but it will rain nevertheless.’ Live life as it comes and enjoy the moment. Remember, you are in charge of your happiness and no one else is. You are too young to worry about your health but still you must create habits now which helps you in future. Stay active physically - Swim or walk or exercise or cycle or play any sport (I mean an outdoor one). Try to eat healthy food most of the time (Remember the 80:20 rule I talked about in last letter?)  Personal hygiene is very important too, love. Take your time in washing your hand, taking a bath and brushing your teeth. (With your every illness, 100 strands of my hair turn white, it’s a fact!). Mental health is as important as physical health, Cookie, and the best thing to be mentally healthy at your age is to stop worrying and overthinking and share your feelings with your parents.

Baby, you are way too pampered and protected. We both can’t help it.  It’s our fault but understand love that the world functions very differently. No one is going to spoon-feed you. At your school, activity class or anywhere else. Learn to stand up for yourself. Speak up when you feel someone is being unfair to you. Remove yourself from the situation where you feel uncomfortable. Don’t over invest in friendships where the other person doesn’t value you enough. We are always here (and ever ready 😊) to back you up.

My sweet child, you are so kind and extremely helpful to your peers. That is an exception quality to have. You always go out of your way to help your friends or make them comfortable. We love that. Hope you always keep your kindness and helpfulness close to you. Always be the ‘bigger elephant’ 😊 but also remember not to let anyone take undue advantage of your pure heart.

Till you finish your studies, there is nothing more important than your education (not just textbook one). Never ever take it for granted. You don’t like maths, that’s ok. We don’t expect you to win medals in Mathematics but if it’s your weak point then work harder on it. There is no other option.  All and everything take a back seat when it comes to your education.

You are gifted in literature🧿 but being ‘gifted’ isn’t enough, Gudiya. Keep on working hard towards being better. (You are really dedicated to it most of the time and we appreciate it, baby)

Love, you are a bit of people pleaser especially when it comes to your friends. That’s not a bad thing but you don’t need to change yourself for anyone. You must yearn to be better, for sure, but not by losing who you really are. Be true to yourself. What people think of you is none of your business. Always remember that you are enough. You don’t need to copy someone else or do things you do not like to impress others (not even your parents). Your qualities make you who you are. Embrace these qualities with pride and never let anyone make you feel lesser for being you.

My wild one, you argue like a prosecutor (google the meaning). Sometimes, I just wish you would say ‘Yes, mamma/daddy’ and move on but that’s just not you. It’s annoying but also one of your best skills (This sentence is going to come back and bite me in future). Use it wisely and positively and just not against your parents.

Tilly (See, I am using it already and it sounds cute), You don’t handle failure well. Failure is inevitable, my heartbeat. It’s OK not to get the perfect result sometimes. What we have always told you and will keep on telling you is ‘Give your best then forget about it’. Important thing is to never stop trying/doing something because of the fear of failure. Never let success go to your head and never let failure go to your heart.

As you are growing up, there will be more and more instances where you will feel the urge to not inform us something but baby don’t ever do that. Believe me, it’s really important to share everything with us. You can come to us for anything and know that there will never be judgement.  We will love and support you always.

Ending this letter with a poem (some parts are adapted from net and some are mine) ...

For all the things our hands have held,

The best by far is you

You gave us hope when times were tough

And your love got us through

So we thank you our girl for loving us

And all your hugs and kisses to this day

But please remember how precious you are

And our love will never fade

We will always be by your side

In times of hurt and tears

I just want you to know how loved you are

That you are our whole heart since last eleven years

You make our days so much brighter

And there is no better sound for us than your laugh

Thank you for being such an amazing daughter

We are so very proud.

 

Now time for our advices. I will try to keep it short this time (but will I succeed?)                                                

1.      Trust your instincts. If any situation makes you uncomfortable, leave. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

2.      You are smart, talented, kind, beautiful, and capable of doing anything you set your mind to. So work on your weaknesses, overcome your fears and always work towards your goals. Don’t feel disheartened even in failure. Learn and move on.

3.       If you are thankful, show it. If you are wrong, own up. If you are confused, ask questions. If you make a mistake, apologize. If someone needs help, help them. If you see wrong, take a stance.

4.       Your best will always be good enough for us.

5.       Always be honest, with yourself and others. It’s worth it.

6.      Borrowing a quote from Harry Potter Book - ‘It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities’. Choose wisely. Your small choices today will have big impact on your future.

7.       No knowledge is ever wasted.

8.      Worries and stress are like holding a glass of water. For a shorter time, you don’t feel it but if you hold it for a longer time your arms start aching and your whole focus goes to that glass of water. Put down the glass. (Remember the story of Navajo grandfather from last letter?)

9.     Surround yourself with positive people who care, love, support and inspire you and push away from those that are toxic and negative. Do not waster your energy on anything that is negative. Always focus on solution and not the problem.

10.   In life, you write your own story. Start with some amazing few chapters. Once you find your rhythm, the rest of the story will come naturally.

11.   If you aim higher than you expect, you could reach higher than you dreamed. Always think big and try your best to make it a reality (like having a Rolls Royce)!

12.   If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

13.   Take criticism seriously but not personally.

14.   A fish can’t fly but she can surely be the best swimmer in the sea and can learn to keep her mouth outside the water for some time.

15.   Talent wins a battle. Hard work and discipline win a war.

 

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! May you forever find enough happiness to do your jolly, whimsical dance in front of the mirror every night!

 

Mamma and Daddy